Loveless, Shameless

This one goes out for all those who have loved and lost. This one is for those who can't give up, despite having been given up on. This also goes out to those of us, who can scarce attain finality in goodbyes: the ones who just can't cut the chord.

Listening to a Nashville Radio Station online, I come across this wrench of a number, that twists & turns one of our great sorrows: drunken loneliness, and squeezes out its sap, so much so that you see that its your tears that are rushing from the bottom of the mug to froth over at the surface, several times over. The song's called 'Need You Now' by a strangely named band called Lady Antebellum. 

They say one should never have alcohol on empty stomach, coz' it hits you hard. I say, its even worse when you run it through a system caging a broken, rejected & dejected heart. It pours out, and can go all over the place. Resolves flow away with it, so does ego (most of the times, self-respect too) and sensibility.

It ceases to matter how unceremoniously you were shown the door, also who was responsible to what extent, and what all has one gone through, or made the other go through. Alcohol's organic formulation has those stronger, malleable bonds amongst Carbon, Hydrogen & Oxygen atoms, that create such an alchemy that the subject of your attention is endeared to you, no matter what! So, it pains all the more to see him go, and the thought of him finding recourse in someone else's arms stabs you. Try running alcohol over your bare wounds, and you'd appreciate the searing sensation I'm talking of.

The urgency in the requisition of love, amidst drunken pining, which drowns out reason & ego, breaks all resolves, and makes you wonder, why the hell did you let it all slip outta your hands! So you reach for your phone, and try his number, or if you're feeling nobler, you send out a message: either ways, you try and reach out. Some nice souls do pick up the phone and listen, some preach, some are curt, some are ruder not to pick up, and some are coolly indifferent.

Some wonder what has gotten into the individual to be getting so desperate, so as to be going back on his words of keeping away. What perhaps we don't get is the fact its like a naked body shivering in severe cold. No sir, it doesn't get accustomed to the winter. It keeps on shivering till the warmth of a blanket encapsulates it. 

The drunken loner is perhaps most likely in his unabashed purest form. Whatever his ego, machinations, attitude, circumstances, tendency, et al are making him do in his sober times, don't matter now. He's telling the truth. He's laid his heart bare. He's ready to be shamed by you again, because he'd rather take your barbs and bleed than not feel anything running in his veins.

Alas! Some of us learn the hard lessons loss teaches us, only under alcoholic influence. We cry, plead, beg, seek forgiveness, or even punishment, but nobody takes us seriously, because we're not-sober. If only life changing realizations started dawning on mankind sans inebriation, booze would've been out of business by now.